Engagement Woes

Well, I guess I’m going to get quite a bit of unintentional exposure therapy in the coming year or so, because I’m engaged! And I don’t plan on having a city hall wedding–I’ve never been much of a “big party” kind of person, but I do want a small, intimate ceremony for my family and close (very close–like maybe four, possibly just one!) friends. So that means a lot of phone calls and meetings and stuff. I already spent over an hour on the phone with my mom last night (that was fun -.-), and tomorrow I need to call my dad and let him and my stepmom know about it. So that will be another hour or so of squeals and things. I can sort of handle these kinds of calls, but I don’t know what’s going to happen when I have to find an officiator and things like that.

Also, while this ought to be a completely happy day in my life, I’m already starting to freak out. During a wedding, most of the attention is on the BRIDE. I’M going to be the bride. I get the shivers just thinking about it! I’m already trying to come up with ways to make it to where I’m not completely the center of the attention, but there are a few times where it’s going to be nigh impossible. Yikes. And thinking about how many times I’m going to have to sit down with the future in-laws to get things figured out? I want a very informal wedding, but there’s still planning and budgeting to be done. I’m not looking forward to it.

Not Much Going On

I’ve been sick recently so I haven’t had many social anxiety issues, and as this blog is about social anxiety, I haven’t had anything to write about. I’ve just been hanging out at home trying to get better. However, on Saturday night my boyfriend’s friends came over, and I ended up coming out of my lair for a few minutes in the beginning to get their food ready for them. At the time though, only one of his friends was there, so it wasn’t a big accomplishment.

Despite not having any real-life social issues, I have found that I’m avoiding most of the social sites that I used to frequent daily. I haven’t been on Myspace since my grandpa died, I rarely log on to SPW anymore because I don’t know what to say to any of the threads at the moment, and I hardly ever log onto Psyke anymore either. Whenever I do get onto Psyke or SPW I don’t even respond to any threads, because I just don’t know what to say. I’m not entirely sure what the whole reason is. Hmm.